Andy starts to understand couponing

Some months ago, when I first started clipping coupons here and there, Andy was against the idea.  Being just as angry and jaded as I am, he figured coupons were effectively worthless and we'd use them to buy stuff we didn't need only because we thought we were getting a bargain.

One week Andy wanted to make pasta with meat sauce.  He and I make this simple dish very differently and he was in the mood for his version - a way higher ratio of sauce to pasta than I prefer.  I'd clipped a coupon for some Bertolli pasta sauce - $.75 off two jars.  He "pshawed" that the store brand would be cheaper.  When we got to the pasta aisle, the Bertolli sauce was on sale, and some of the jars had a $1 off two hangtag coupon on them.  Well, our local grocery doubles coupons up to $.99 so that meant $1.50 off two jars plus another buck off if we could use both coupons.  The sauce was on sale two for $4.  Subtract $2.50 in coupons from that for a total of $1.50, or $.75 per jar of sauce.  That's a good deal, one much cheaper than the $2 store brand sauce.
That one deal is what hooked me.  I looked at those $.75 jars of pasta sauce and thought, "I can do better."

So I started paying more attention to the sale circulars and coupon inserts.  I'd look at a coupon and think - is this something we'd actually use?  Cans of mushrooms - no.  Soy milk - no.  Cereal?  Hell yes.  Tylenol?  Yeah, we get headaches.  I clipped out the coupons we'd potentially use and tossed the rest in the bin.  Then, as we needed something, I'd check to see if I had a coupon.  I became an average couponer.

I'd always envied those stories I'd see posted online about shoppers who'd saved massive amounts of money off their grocery bill with coupons.  I couldn't freaking figure out how they did it.  I knew they clipped huge numbers of coupons and either bought numerous Sunday papers, collected extra inserts from family and friends, or bought piles of coupons online.  Somehow they made magic things happen, but I was missing a step.  I wasn't quite ready to buy coupons off Ebay or spend $20 on 10 Sunday papers.  I did swipe extra unused coupons from my Mom if I was at her house on a Sunday, but that's as far as I went.

Recently, things started to click for me.
I needed to buy some chicken broth.  I had a coupon for a dollar off two cartons and they were coincidentally on sale 2 for $4 the week I needed them.  $1.50 per carton was a great price in my book, so off I went to the grocery.  While I was strolling the aisles, I saw that the big bags of Combos were on sale as well, and I happened to have a $.50 off two coupon (double to $1 off two).  We love Combos, so I grabbed two bags along with my chicken broth and a few other necessities.  At the self checkout lane I started to scan my items through, and when the broth went through the little machine doohickey (in proper terms, that would be the Catalina machine) spit out a coupon.  I normally don't even look at those until I've completed my order, but for whatever reason I glanced at it this time.  It was a coupon for $.50 off any two chicken broth products - same brand I was already buying.
A lightbulb started to flicker over my head.  I set it aside and continued scanning my other items.  When the Combos went through, another coupon spit out....a doubleable for Combos.  Coffee creamer - another coupon spit out for the Coffee-Mate I was already buying.  Once everything was scanned through, I ran my original two coupons.  Then, figuring it was worth a shot, I ran the chicken broth Catalina that had spit out.  It ran through and doubled.  So did the Combos Catalina.  So did the creamer Catalina.  The machine had just rung me up for two large cartons of chicken broth for a buck each, coffee creamer for under a buck each, and two bags of Combos for just over a buck each.

Feeling sort of guilty, I took my groceries home and wondered what had just happened.  I spent the evening poring over various couponing sites until I realized that, in most cases, I could use one coupon per item purchased even if it was for 100 items.  If I was buying two jars of pasta sauce, I could use two coupons.  If I was buying ten jars, I could use ten coupons.  If I combined multiple coupons with a great sale, the savings simply piled up.  Better yet - if I can get a nonperishable item (such s pasta sauce) super cheap now, I should buy some extras to keep on hand so I don't have to buy them at a non-sale, non-coupon price later.  It started to fall into place.

I spent some time gathering various coupons and watching sales.  I planned very carefully.

Yesterday we went grocery shopping.  I was armed with a shopping list and my little coupon file.  I gave Andy strict instructions to keep a close eye out for any blinking coupon machines ("blinkies"), any coupons stuck to items ("peelies"), pads of coupons you could tear off ("tearpads"), and any coupons hanging off items - usually jars or bottles ("hangtags").  We went to the big, fancy, new store as opposed to our little neighborhood store and set off to see what I could accomplish.

I price-checked some items.  The doubleable candy coupon I had matched up to a sale item, making a $4 item $1.25.  We tossed that in the cart.  Andy spotted a blinkie machine and came back with some more candy coupons.  $3.49 regular price, on sale, with a coupon it came down to $.99 each.  We got two.  The Jimmy Dean coupon didn't make it a low enough price, so we hung on to that one to wait for a better sale.  We had a heated discussion in the frozen section on whether we should get some frozen Healthy Choice meals on sale with a blinkie.
"We don't eat frozen meals," I reminded him.
"Well, I used to!  This looks like a good deal, and the coupon..." he responded.
"Are you going to eat three of those things in the next week?"  The look on his face said no.  "If we're not gonna eat it, it's not a good deal, hon."
We didn't get any Healthy Choice meals.
I had a coupon for $1 off two cans of Campbell's Healthy Choice soup, which were on sale for $1 each.  We got two cans - $.50 each for a lazy, quick lunch for me.  We pondered another Campbell's coupon but decided it wasn't quite a good enough deal and saved that coupon for later.
I grabbed some blinkie coupons and a bread coupon from a tearpad along the way.  None were good sale items at the time, but they might be in a week or two.

By the time we got up to the self-checkout the cart was piled full of food and Andy was looking kinda green.  There was at least $200 worth of stuff in that cart and he knew it.  Regardless, we hit an empty lane and sprang into action.  We have a wonderful system worked out when we shop together; I scan items like a madwoman while he bags them neatly and quickly.  We're like a well-oiled machine.  It's bad enough when we have a lot of stuff, but I knew how many coupons I had.  We had to be quick so we didn't hold up any line that might form.
We were purchasing some items that gave a "dollars off your next order" ("OYNO") Catalina coupon.  My plan was to quickly ring those items through, get the $5 off Catalinas, pay for those separately, and quickly scan through the rest of the items so I could bump $5 more off with the OYNOs.  On the third can of vegetables, I knew we'd made a mistake.  It rang up at a higher price, and I immediately realized Andy had grabbed one of the non-sale, non-$2-Catalina-back items.  One can threw everything off.
I reformulated.  We'll just save the $5 Catalinas for next shopping trip.  I sent him back into the store to get the correct item, rang for cashier assistance to void the wrong item, and continued scanning.  The cashier came and voided the bum item, Andy came back with the right one, and we were back on track with barely a missed step.

A dude got in line behind us with a big pack of toilet paper and a couple bags of shredded cheese.  I politely let him know that we had a lot of stuff and that I had coupons in case he wanted to move to a different machine.  He shrugged and said he wasn't in a rush.

I kept scanning.  Andy kept bagging.  The Catalina machine kept spitting out coupons.
Then the moment of truth. $236 shelf price, with the grocery rewards card (the automatic discounts) our pre-tax total was down to $131.45.
I started scanning coupons.  After each one the machine kindly says, "Please place coupon in the slot."  I had the coupon in the coupon slot at "Pl-"
That $.50 per can soup generated a $.75 off Catalina which doubled.  My soup was free, and the other $.50 came off on top of it.  Bonus.
The $4.49 BIG boxes of cereal which I'd saled and couponed down to $1.75 each generated a $1.50 off 3 Catalina.  Under $1.50 each for four big boxes of cereal.
My hair dye - on sale for $5.99, I had a $3 off coupon.  $2.99 for a $10 item.  My grey is coming in badly, so now I won't look quite so old next time I maniacally scan coupons and grab for the clattering Catalina machine.
The dude waiting in line was watching with interest.

And then....there it was.  Our final, post-coupon total.
$82.88

Andy said "Oh my god!"   
We paid, our $5 OYNO Catalinas printed along with a 4 foot long receipt.  $50 in coupon savings, which I proudly announced to my beloved.  The dude behind us was bugeyed at this point.

We made a 30 second pit stop at Customer Service to get a rain check for some insanely cheap sale fruit juice they were out of.  I hope to find a coupon or four on that one for later.
 
No longer angry, we giggled our way out to the parking lot to pack the car full of groceries.  The only things we'll need to buy for at least a month are eggs, milk, meat and cheese.  Maybe a little fresh produce if the sales are good.

I'm gonna need a bigger coupon file.