I just saved 89% off my grocery bill

Grocery trip, part one.

It was a dark and stormy night; no shit, there I was.  I had a stack of coupons, a shopping list, and an evil, evil plan.  Plans don't always go perfectly and this one is no different, but I thought quick; I reformulated on the fly.  And I made it happen.

My mission: purchase hot dogs, coffee, bologna, cheese, cat food, and a couple candy bars for the road.  Not only purchase them, but spend as little money as possible doing so.

We entered the store, took a cart, and I lead the charge with a purposeful stride.  If I'd been wearing a cape (which I totally should have, dammit!), it would have been flowing dramatically behind me and perhaps some appropriately dramatic music would have been playing.  

I loaded six big canisters of coffee in the cart.  Check.

I loaded 8lbs of bologna in the cart.  Check.

I went to load 8lbs of hot dogs in the cart - but wait!  They'd been picked nearly clean!  Only six pounds remained in the store.  Shaking my fist skyward, I wailed "NOOOOOOO!"  And then I collected myself and tossed four pounds in the cart.   I had to buy those in multiples of four; no more, no less.  That's okay.  I'll get the rest another time.

Andy patiently trailed behind me with the cart as I strode onwards.

I loaded 8 packages of cheese slices into the cart.  Sharp cheddar.  Two percent.  It ain't gourmet, but it freezes well and it's cheap.  

I loaded in 6 cans of cat food, two candy bars, and a box of Tic Tacs.  We strode to the self checkout registers and were distracted by the coolers of soda.  There was a tearpad of coupons hanging there, taunting us, offering $.50 off a Pepsi Max product.  That coupon doubles at our store, so I grabbed two icy beverages and two coupons to provide the refreshment we'll surely need.

Checkout.  Andy took up his post at the bagging area and I stood at the register, poised to begin.

And.....we're off.

I scanned 8lbs of bologna.  Total $15.12.  I scanned four $1/2 (one dollar off two packages) coupons for lunchmeat.  Total $11.12.  I fed the cash into the machine and it reciprocated by printing out two $5 OYNO (off your next order) Catalinas.

Next I scanned through the six coffees.  Total $35.94.  I scanned four $1/1 coupons and both $5 OYNOs.  Total $21.94.  

The machine gave me back four $5 OYNOs.

Next I scanned through the 8 packages of cheese.  Total $16.  I scanned four $1/2 coupons and two $5 OYNOs.  Total $2.00.  

I got back two more $5 OYNOs.

For my grand finale, I scanned through 4lbs of hot dogs, six cans of cat food*, two candy bars, one box of Tic Tacs*, and two bottles of Pepsi Max*.  Total $19.95.  I scanned two $1/2 hot dog coupons, three $1/2 cat food coupons, two $.50/1 Pepsi coupons, one $.75/1 Tic Tac coupon, and one BOGO (buy one get one) candy bar coupon.  With a flourish and a swell of climactic mental music, I scanned one more $5 OYNO.  Total $1.87.

I got back one more $5 OYNOs and a $1 OYNO.

(* free after coupons)

I went in there with $40 in cash in my hand.

I walked out with $3.04 in change and $21 worth of OYNOs

Total shelf price (no coupons or store sales): $149.22

Cash paid: $36.96

Remaining same-as-cash OYNO Catalina coupons: $21

True out of pocket cost: $15.96, for a savings of 89.31%

Cheap Meals: Pasta Bake

I was raised in a large, close-knit, Slavic/German Midwestern family.  We ate dinner together - my mom, my sister, my grandparents and I - every single night.  Sometimes an aunt or uncle or one of our friends joined us.  The TV wasn't on, the phone was ignored if it rang, we all sat at the table and talked about our day over dinner.  There were always at least 5 people eating, and there were always leftovers. 

For this reason, I have a complete inability to cook for fewer than 10 people at a time.  It's not a proper meal to me unless the plastic containers come out afterward to be stuffed with leftovers - leftovers which are either reheated and eaten as-is in the next couple days, or which are recycled into future meals.  To the left you'll see an actual photo of one of our family meals for eight.  Elbow to elbow, loud, laughing, and yet more food in the kitchen that didn't fit on the serving dishes; we don't screw around.

We're not a wealthy family.  We're, at best, solidly middle-class, and we're headed by my grandparents who both lived through the Great Depression.  Our massive spreads of food are almost entirely "economical" if not downright cheap.

I can do fancy and expensive, but by habit I cook cheap.  Granted, the foods I considered cheap last year are downright penny-pinching with this whole coupon thing, but even without coupons you can eat well for less.


Pasta Bake
Serves 6
1lb ground beef, browned
1lb pasta (penne, shells, spirals, elbows, anything that isn't in strands like spaghetti), cooked slightly less than al dente
1 jar pasta sauce, thinned with 2 TB milk or water
1 cup shredded cheese
Salt, pepper, basil, oregano, minced garlic, other seasonings

Preheat the oven to 375*
Dump the cooked pasta into a 13x9 baking dish.  Or use a couple round casserole dishes.  Use whatever you've got as long as it's oven safe.
Pour the sauce over the pasta and mix well.
Season the ground beef to taste with salt, pepper, basil, oregano, garlic, and anything else you like.  I always put either a couple shakes of hot sauce or a minced hot pepper from the window garden in there.
Mix the ground beef in with the pasta & sauce and pat everything down evenly.
Sprinkle 1 cup of shredded cheese over top and cover with a lid or foil.
Bake for 30 minutes, uncover, and bake for another 10 minutes to brown the cheese.

Price breakdown for non-heavy coupon use:
1lb ground beef $1.99-2.19; buy on sale in large packs and divide into 1lb portions to freeze.  $2.19 is the highest I'll pay per pound for ground beef.
1lb pasta $.50-1.00; without sales or coupons you can get a pound of pasta for a buck, so I never pay higher than that.
1 jar pasta sauce $.50-2.00; it's well worth searching out sales & coupons on pasta sauce and stocking up when you can.  Some everyday cheap brands have HFCS and artificial flavorings, while the more expensive ones tend to use actual ingredients and no HFCS.
1 cup cheese $.25-1.00; buy store brand, or buy a block of cheese and shred it yourself
Seasonings: $.50
Total cost: $3.74-6.69; per serving cost $.62-1.12

Round out the meal with a package of frozen veggies ($1-1.50) or fresh veggies if $1-1.50/lb and 1/4-1/2 loaf of homemade bread ($.15-.30) for a total of $4.89-8.49, or a per serving cost of $.82-1.42

You can make the meal even cheaper if you find a better price on sausage or ground turkey.  You can also switch out ingredients; for example, using chicken thigh or drumstick meat (often in the range of $.89/lb on sale) and a jar of alfredo sauce.

This is a great place to toss random fresh veggies you've got in the refrigerator that need to be used up.  That sad little onion or the wilty-looking spinach find a new home cooked with the meat and mixed right on in.  Hey, you'd probably throw it out tomorrow anyways, right?

How I plan a shopping trip

It's Monday.  Yesterday was coupon day: the Sunday paper insert.  Or, in my case, the Sunday paper inserts.  I knew what coupons were coming out ahead of time and there were some good ones, so I asked Andy to pick up three papers because he gets up stupid early and would get to the corner store before the papers were bought up.  Total cost: $6.  We need cheese, so the six $1 off Kraft coupons paid for the papers; every other coupon was straight savings.
I wish I'd had him grab a couple more.  This was an amazing coupon week.

When I look at the sales preview, I mainly look for two types of coupons:
1) Items that we need now or will need in the very near future.  Cheese, foil, canned tomatoes, Dawn dish soap and a few others jumped out at me.  These are items we're low on, that we use a lot of, and that I'm going to buy quickly.
2) Items (nonperishable) that we use which will shortly be on sale.  It's fall, Thanksgiving and the holiday baking season are approaching, so I know that things like chicken broth, evaporated milk, chocolate chips, cake mixes, flour, and so on will be on deep discount in the next month to six weeks.  This week's circular included coupons for broth, evaporated milk, cake mix, and food storage items (zip bags, plastic containers, etc) as standouts for our needs.  These are items with a very long shelf life, so using coupons on top of a good sale means when I need chicken broth in 4 months, I'll only have paid a few cents a can rather than over a buck each if I bought it as-needed.
There were also coupons for Maxwell House coffee; this is our preferred brand and I know by observation it tends to go on sale every couple months year-round at our grocery.  In addition, coffee prices are going through the roof.  I'd rather buy extra at today's lower prices than be stuck paying double two months from now.  Products with volatile pricing or seasonal availability (coffee, sugar, flour, canned pumpkin as examples) are well worth buying a few extras when the price is low.

So.

I spent a little time Sunday cutting out the coupons and filing them in my little accordion coupon folder.  I also use a couple envelopes - reused from incoming mail - for specific types of coupon: baby products for my sister, assorted products for my mom, items I'll only buy if they wind up free or nearly free after coupon, etc.

Nothing usually happens with the coupons for several days.  I file 'em and go on with my life.  By Sunday I've either done all the shopping I need to do or I have my existing coupons arranged and ready to go for an early-week trip.

Come Monday or Tuesday, though, the ad for the sales starting on Thursday hits the 'net.  Those ads aren't in homes until Wednesday, but there are folks with "connections" who post them online early.  I use the early post to start planning our shopping.

We've got a good one this week.  There's a "spend $15, get $5 OYNO" (off your next order) deal going on and many items I have coupons for are included.  So here's the rough framework I'm starting with:

So you need more coupons.

When you're just starting on a money-saving journey by using coupons, one problem you'll quickly run into is that you can't seem to find quite enough coupons on products you regularly use.  You're stuck at the whims of whatever happens to be printed in Sunday's paper, and, honestly, there are some weeks where the coupon circulars just suck.  That makes me mad.  I get all excited when the newspaper or the Red Plum circulars arrive and after a minute I'm like, "I don't need any freaking Metamucil.  Or cans of mushrooms.  WTF!"  I need coupons for stuff I can use, man!

There's a simple solution to lack of useful coupons, one that doesn't cost anything more than a few minutes of your time.

Pay attention to the various products you use on a regular basis - whether shampoo, pet food, canned tuna, beverages, whatever.  Take the time to go to those companies' web sites and locate their "contact" link - usually at the bottom of the page.  Most of these sites have a web form you can fill out right there; enter your name and address, sometimes your email address, and a quick note letting the company know that you use and enjoy their product.

For example, let's say you go through a lot of Brand X's canned mushrooms.  Mushrooms are gross and I don't know why one would use them in small quantities let alone large, but we'll just roll with the example.  Anyways.  Do a quick Google search for Brand X mushrooms and go to the site.  Find the "contact" link, include your name and mailing address, and say something like "I just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know that your canned mushrooms are the only kind I use in my mushroom casserole.  I tried the store brand once and quickly realized that your fungus is of a much higher quality - I'm a customer for life.  Thank you for such a great product!"
Click send and move on with your day.

Not every company out there will do so, but many will send you a nice package in the mail with a handful of coupons and sometimes other swag like recipe booklets, a pen, a hat, or some free samples.  A two minute effort on your part may well pay off with several dollars in savings on your favorite products, and if you spend a few minutes a day dashing off a comment or two, those coupons will start rolling in.

On the flip side, sometimes you buy a new product to try and you're not very happy with it.  Maybe your favorite juice brand changed their formula and you don't much care for it.  If you're not happy with a product you've purchased....contact the company in the same manner as above and let them know!  Be nice about it, but a few words about your dissatisfaction will, at the very least, let the company know that something may be wrong and, at best, may garner you coupons to try the product again, product samples, or a refund.

A real-life example is something that happened to us this week.  I made some pasta using a jar of pasta sauce and it was all tasty, but Andy bit into....a thing.  It was something that shouldn't have been in the sauce.  It vaguely looked like a big hunk of mushroom (seriously), but this was a tomato-basil sauce.  There should be no mushroom. 
It wasn't a finger and it wasn't a shard of glass, so we weren't freaking out - but it was unnerving.  I sent a polite email to the sauce company explaining what we found and that we were kinda grossed out by the whole thing.  No resolution yet, but this is a situation where one might expect a coupon to replace the product.  We'll see what happens.

There's a third option to try and score some extra coupons, though don't expect it to work often.  If there's a  product that you want to try for the first time, use the above contact methods to, well, ask for a coupon.  Let the company know you haven't tried their product yet, that you'd like to, and ask if they would be able to send you any coupons for it.  This tends to work better with smaller companies as opposed to the large, multi-national brands.  The big boys already issue coupons in sales circulars and magazines for new and existing products; a small company may not have the budget to market so expensively.  For the same reason big companies print coupons in the circulars (that reason being to try and reel in new customers and extra sales), small companies are often willing to send out a dollar-off coupon to try and entice you to buy their stuff.

Give it a shot.  There's nothing to lose but a little bit of time.

Andy starts to understand couponing

Some months ago, when I first started clipping coupons here and there, Andy was against the idea.  Being just as angry and jaded as I am, he figured coupons were effectively worthless and we'd use them to buy stuff we didn't need only because we thought we were getting a bargain.

One week Andy wanted to make pasta with meat sauce.  He and I make this simple dish very differently and he was in the mood for his version - a way higher ratio of sauce to pasta than I prefer.  I'd clipped a coupon for some Bertolli pasta sauce - $.75 off two jars.  He "pshawed" that the store brand would be cheaper.  When we got to the pasta aisle, the Bertolli sauce was on sale, and some of the jars had a $1 off two hangtag coupon on them.  Well, our local grocery doubles coupons up to $.99 so that meant $1.50 off two jars plus another buck off if we could use both coupons.  The sauce was on sale two for $4.  Subtract $2.50 in coupons from that for a total of $1.50, or $.75 per jar of sauce.  That's a good deal, one much cheaper than the $2 store brand sauce.
That one deal is what hooked me.  I looked at those $.75 jars of pasta sauce and thought, "I can do better."

So I started paying more attention to the sale circulars and coupon inserts.  I'd look at a coupon and think - is this something we'd actually use?  Cans of mushrooms - no.  Soy milk - no.  Cereal?  Hell yes.  Tylenol?  Yeah, we get headaches.  I clipped out the coupons we'd potentially use and tossed the rest in the bin.  Then, as we needed something, I'd check to see if I had a coupon.  I became an average couponer.

I'd always envied those stories I'd see posted online about shoppers who'd saved massive amounts of money off their grocery bill with coupons.  I couldn't freaking figure out how they did it.  I knew they clipped huge numbers of coupons and either bought numerous Sunday papers, collected extra inserts from family and friends, or bought piles of coupons online.  Somehow they made magic things happen, but I was missing a step.  I wasn't quite ready to buy coupons off Ebay or spend $20 on 10 Sunday papers.  I did swipe extra unused coupons from my Mom if I was at her house on a Sunday, but that's as far as I went.

Recently, things started to click for me.
I needed to buy some chicken broth.  I had a coupon for a dollar off two cartons and they were coincidentally on sale 2 for $4 the week I needed them.  $1.50 per carton was a great price in my book, so off I went to the grocery.  While I was strolling the aisles, I saw that the big bags of Combos were on sale as well, and I happened to have a $.50 off two coupon (double to $1 off two).  We love Combos, so I grabbed two bags along with my chicken broth and a few other necessities.  At the self checkout lane I started to scan my items through, and when the broth went through the little machine doohickey (in proper terms, that would be the Catalina machine) spit out a coupon.  I normally don't even look at those until I've completed my order, but for whatever reason I glanced at it this time.  It was a coupon for $.50 off any two chicken broth products - same brand I was already buying.
A lightbulb started to flicker over my head.  I set it aside and continued scanning my other items.  When the Combos went through, another coupon spit out....a doubleable for Combos.  Coffee creamer - another coupon spit out for the Coffee-Mate I was already buying.  Once everything was scanned through, I ran my original two coupons.  Then, figuring it was worth a shot, I ran the chicken broth Catalina that had spit out.  It ran through and doubled.  So did the Combos Catalina.  So did the creamer Catalina.  The machine had just rung me up for two large cartons of chicken broth for a buck each, coffee creamer for under a buck each, and two bags of Combos for just over a buck each.

Feeling sort of guilty, I took my groceries home and wondered what had just happened.  I spent the evening poring over various couponing sites until I realized that, in most cases, I could use one coupon per item purchased even if it was for 100 items.  If I was buying two jars of pasta sauce, I could use two coupons.  If I was buying ten jars, I could use ten coupons.  If I combined multiple coupons with a great sale, the savings simply piled up.  Better yet - if I can get a nonperishable item (such s pasta sauce) super cheap now, I should buy some extras to keep on hand so I don't have to buy them at a non-sale, non-coupon price later.  It started to fall into place.

I spent some time gathering various coupons and watching sales.  I planned very carefully.

Yesterday we went grocery shopping.  I was armed with a shopping list and my little coupon file.  I gave Andy strict instructions to keep a close eye out for any blinking coupon machines ("blinkies"), any coupons stuck to items ("peelies"), pads of coupons you could tear off ("tearpads"), and any coupons hanging off items - usually jars or bottles ("hangtags").  We went to the big, fancy, new store as opposed to our little neighborhood store and set off to see what I could accomplish.

I price-checked some items.  The doubleable candy coupon I had matched up to a sale item, making a $4 item $1.25.  We tossed that in the cart.  Andy spotted a blinkie machine and came back with some more candy coupons.  $3.49 regular price, on sale, with a coupon it came down to $.99 each.  We got two.  The Jimmy Dean coupon didn't make it a low enough price, so we hung on to that one to wait for a better sale.  We had a heated discussion in the frozen section on whether we should get some frozen Healthy Choice meals on sale with a blinkie.
"We don't eat frozen meals," I reminded him.
"Well, I used to!  This looks like a good deal, and the coupon..." he responded.
"Are you going to eat three of those things in the next week?"  The look on his face said no.  "If we're not gonna eat it, it's not a good deal, hon."
We didn't get any Healthy Choice meals.
I had a coupon for $1 off two cans of Campbell's Healthy Choice soup, which were on sale for $1 each.  We got two cans - $.50 each for a lazy, quick lunch for me.  We pondered another Campbell's coupon but decided it wasn't quite a good enough deal and saved that coupon for later.
I grabbed some blinkie coupons and a bread coupon from a tearpad along the way.  None were good sale items at the time, but they might be in a week or two.

By the time we got up to the self-checkout the cart was piled full of food and Andy was looking kinda green.  There was at least $200 worth of stuff in that cart and he knew it.  Regardless, we hit an empty lane and sprang into action.  We have a wonderful system worked out when we shop together; I scan items like a madwoman while he bags them neatly and quickly.  We're like a well-oiled machine.  It's bad enough when we have a lot of stuff, but I knew how many coupons I had.  We had to be quick so we didn't hold up any line that might form.
We were purchasing some items that gave a "dollars off your next order" ("OYNO") Catalina coupon.  My plan was to quickly ring those items through, get the $5 off Catalinas, pay for those separately, and quickly scan through the rest of the items so I could bump $5 more off with the OYNOs.  On the third can of vegetables, I knew we'd made a mistake.  It rang up at a higher price, and I immediately realized Andy had grabbed one of the non-sale, non-$2-Catalina-back items.  One can threw everything off.
I reformulated.  We'll just save the $5 Catalinas for next shopping trip.  I sent him back into the store to get the correct item, rang for cashier assistance to void the wrong item, and continued scanning.  The cashier came and voided the bum item, Andy came back with the right one, and we were back on track with barely a missed step.

A dude got in line behind us with a big pack of toilet paper and a couple bags of shredded cheese.  I politely let him know that we had a lot of stuff and that I had coupons in case he wanted to move to a different machine.  He shrugged and said he wasn't in a rush.

I kept scanning.  Andy kept bagging.  The Catalina machine kept spitting out coupons.
Then the moment of truth. $236 shelf price, with the grocery rewards card (the automatic discounts) our pre-tax total was down to $131.45.
I started scanning coupons.  After each one the machine kindly says, "Please place coupon in the slot."  I had the coupon in the coupon slot at "Pl-"
That $.50 per can soup generated a $.75 off Catalina which doubled.  My soup was free, and the other $.50 came off on top of it.  Bonus.
The $4.49 BIG boxes of cereal which I'd saled and couponed down to $1.75 each generated a $1.50 off 3 Catalina.  Under $1.50 each for four big boxes of cereal.
My hair dye - on sale for $5.99, I had a $3 off coupon.  $2.99 for a $10 item.  My grey is coming in badly, so now I won't look quite so old next time I maniacally scan coupons and grab for the clattering Catalina machine.
The dude waiting in line was watching with interest.

And then....there it was.  Our final, post-coupon total.
$82.88

Andy said "Oh my god!"   
We paid, our $5 OYNO Catalinas printed along with a 4 foot long receipt.  $50 in coupon savings, which I proudly announced to my beloved.  The dude behind us was bugeyed at this point.

We made a 30 second pit stop at Customer Service to get a rain check for some insanely cheap sale fruit juice they were out of.  I hope to find a coupon or four on that one for later.
 
No longer angry, we giggled our way out to the parking lot to pack the car full of groceries.  The only things we'll need to buy for at least a month are eggs, milk, meat and cheese.  Maybe a little fresh produce if the sales are good.

I'm gonna need a bigger coupon file.